Aaran:

I left from living the room and directly came back to my room without saying anything to anyone. I'm so fucking pissed off. I felt like destroying everything but only I know how I'm controlling myself right now. To keep myself busy I started to do my work again, typing on my laptop aggressively. I don't care if this laptop doesn’t work anymore because of what I'm doing. I can buy thousands of laptops.

I'm snapped away from my thoughts by the knock on my door. It's maa so I took a deep breath to calm down before opening the door for maa to come inside. We both are now sitting down on my bed in silent. I know why maa came to meet me. But I won't speak unless she herself says anything about that shitty marriage.

“Aaran?” I hummed in response. “Will you please keep this one request of mine?” I didn’t answered her cause I know where this is going. She will blackmail me emotionally. “I didn’t asked anything from you before. This is the only thing I'm asking from you. Please marry Aaidah. I want you to settle down.” I'm getting so damn angry but because she is my maa, I can't vent out my anger on her. “Maa please.” My voice came out cold even though I tried to speak gently.

Suddenly maa started crying making me start to panic. I can't see her crying, never especially because of me. “You still love Zaria?!” She raised her voice slightly even though she is crying. Thankfully the door is closed otherwise I'm sure everyone else would've heard her. “Why can't you move on huh? She is married and now pregnant! Then why can't you still move on?” That's it I lost my cool. “Because I still love her! It's not easy to move on. Cause if you love someone truly then you can't move on from them easily. How can I move on from the person I love so much? You tell me maa that how can I move on?” My voice became more soft in the end, surprisingly. At least I didn’t shouted at maa otherwise I would have to live with another guilt in my life.

Maa held my hands who is still crying. Why is she crying? I can't bear to see tears in my maa's eyes. “You have to marry Aaidah. Or else I'm death for you. You can't call me maa neither I will talk to you again.” Her voice is firm meaning she is serious and she will actually do this. I don't have any other choice. I can't lose my maa who has always been there for me, who supported me always, who saved me from baba's wrath always. How can I let that woman cry? I will die if I can't call her maa and if she is  hurt like this. “Fine.” Maa first kissed me on my forehead then hugged me tightly. After a long time since everything that happened in the past few months, she hugged me like this.

She is really happy. I wonder why she is so happy about this marriage? Can't she see my pain? Can't she see I can't move on from Zaria? Can't see that I don't want to marry and ruin my life along with another girl's life? ‘She only sees Asael's pain and loves him, not you.’ My subconscious mind mocked me. No, not again. Maa loves me and I know that. I won't let these stupid voices inside my head to take control over me. Yes I won't. Maa loves me.

“I want to be alone.” Maa pulled away from the hug, frowning as she looked at me. “Please maa.” She sighed but nonetheless left from my room. I'm now left alone in my room with my thoughts. Unfortunately I have to marry Aaidah Sheikh. I don't even have the option to jump from a cliff otherwise I would've chosen that. Why my life is always so messed up? Why every bad things happen to me? I mean I know I'm not a good person so Allah wouldn't love me but I'm also a human being right? Allah can sometimes take my side too instead of always giving me immense pain.

I agreed to marry Aaidah but I can never give her the life she would want as a wife. I can buy her everything, give her money but I know those won't be enough for her. She herself is filthy rich so she can buy things with her own money. She would probably expect me to love her but I can never love someone else. I won't betray her either. Before we get married I will try to meet her and tell her everything so that she can reject. If she rejects then I know my parents won't pressure me either.

I hate Aaidah but that doesn’t mean I will ruin her life, lie to her. If I don't tell her everything then that would mean I'm betraying her. I did many bad things but never betrayed anyone. Neither I will do this in future no matter who that person is. No person in this world deserves to get betrayed.

Safia (Aaran's Mother):

I know what I did is wrong. No mother should blackmail their kids like that. But I can't see Aaran in pain. As his mother I know that he will never move on from Zaria if I leave him on his own. I won't leave him on his own anymore. For that if I have to blackmail him then I will do that.

I let him stay alone away from us, especially away from Zaria yet that didn’t help. Now that he is living with us again it will be more hard for him to move on since he will be seeing Zaria frequently. I know how my son is, he will never share his pain but he will be hurt to see Zaria happy with Asael all the time. That will kill him from inside. I don't want that. No mother would want that.

He doesn’t want to marry Aaidah only because he still loves Zaria. That's why I want him to get married soon. People often see Aaran as a cold, rude person so no one wants their daughter to marry Aaran thus we barely get any proposal coming for Aaran. But Sheikh family want their daughter to marry my son. How can I let go of this opportunity? I know I'm being selfish but for my son's wellbeing.

I'm still feeling guilty to blackmail him like that. I used his biggest weakness against him which is me. I believe Aaidah can change him. I mean if he gets married, starts to live with Aaidah there are chances he will start to fall in love with her then forget Zaria. I just hope this comes true. Please Allah help my son, ease his pain. You are merciful and I'm praying to you for my son's happiness. He suffered a lot. Now please let him be happy. Let Aaidah come into his life as a blessing.